Dad- Can I tell you all about the season finally of “Smash” last night?
Me- Why?
Dad- Cause I really have to tell someone how exciting it was.

All three of us

Two pretty ladies!

I’m so stressed right now. Feels like everything is crashing on me. Trying to focus on RSL, trying to juggle my part time jobs because I have no choice, trying to fight with my family for my lil studio, trying to figure out what to do with going back and forth to FL to be with my sick grandmother.

When I was filming last week all I could think was that I have to get RSL off the ground. THIS is what I want to do. I can’t keep things going like they are.

I’m very happy my brother finally got an iPhone. We talk more now.

If I had known this would happen I would have bought him one a year ago when I got mine.

I love him.

My family is adorable

My lil bro!!! 

Working with dad hauling trash

I see some people do “Truthful Tuesday” where they tell truths about themselves. Here is one for me:

I haven’t really missed my grandmother after her death. At least I thought I did until the other day when I felt something different. A sudden great sadness and I knew that was really what it was like to miss someone passed. 

I was working at my catering job. There were lots of people all going there own directions. Down this long hall I saw an old woman struggling with a walker creeping down the hall looking very confused. People seemed to almost be tripping over her. I went to her and she was trying to find a party. No one I called knew where this party was or had heard of it. Turns out she was not even at the right location, as in she should have been miles across the city somewhere else.

Seeing this lady wandering the halls and no one helping her just made me think of my grandmother. I would have flipped out if that had been her. People treating this strong independant woman like an annoyance and no one stopping to help her when clearly she was in the wrong place.  

I felt this intense sadness then. It’s lessened a bit the past few days but still there. 

When my grandmother was still alive, at night when I would drive by her house I would check to see what lights were on. If the bathroom light was on that meant she was having trouble and I would have to stop by and help her to bed. They are of course always dark now but I still find myself checking. 

2011

Every year I try and do a little write up of things that happened to me that year. They are both good and bad and in no order. 

Here is 2011:

Lost my grandma

Had to watch her come to Alzheimer’s and be tortured by her own mind

Worked 4 different part time jobs

Made lots of new friends

Became a lot more social

Had (and still have) a wonderful boyfriend

Went off my medication

Went back on my medication

Completed my comedy short “I Love My Wife”

Completed my horror short “StereoType”

Lost one of my oldest friends Kristin

Started my studio

Completed my terrible movie “Wake Up”

Bought my first professional camera

Bought a motorcycle